Thursday, 2 August 2012

A Guest Post For A SPECIAL Reason

Hello everyone surfing the Internet world, I am the ten year old offspring of Naomi, who is the offspring of Carol, who is the offspring of Louise, who is the offspring of Gertrude, who is the offspring of...

I forget.

My mom made me write in the introduction :"The ten year old offspring" because my writing is a bit awkward at parts.

Anyways, hi. So, I was just being the athlete I am, surfing.

Surfing the web.

When I was going to check out my blog. (I would promote it because it is just so amazing, but I care so much about it that I forgot the URL) When Naomi forgot to log out of My Mother's Treasure. I was about to log out when I saw something extremely amazing on the screen.

And this time it wasn't the reflection of my face.

It was the amount of views that this blog has reached.

Before I go on, there is one thing you should understand about how our household works:
Everyone worships me and feeds me grapes while I sit in my throne.

Hah. I wish.

Actually, I am probably the most talkative person in this household, not to mention the most observant of imperfect things. I guess you could call me a perfectionist. Anything and everything that goes on in my house, I notice.

Not so lucky for my family.

So, I notice on the clock when any of these happen:

  • 1:11
  • 2:22
  • 3:33
  • 4:44
  • 5:55
  • (and let's not forget:) 11:11

I have this ritual, that I find just the best thing ever known to man. But I was rudely awakened by everyone at school that: (and I quote) "Rebecca, be quiet. You are probably the most annoying person in this class. And you know you are extremely annoying when we are even counting our teacher."


So, the ritual is to say this every time I see that on the clock: (e.g. 1:11)

"It's exactly 1:11 which is three ones, which is all ones on that (alarm clock, computer screen, Rogers Cable Box, you get the idea)".

But I can't be jumping around. My voice has to be smooth, and so do my actions, and I have to say this extremely fast with fluid movements, and a soft smooth voice before the minute passes.

How is this a ritual with  my family? Mostly because, each time they tend to say:

"Go outside if you want to say that."

That is a problem, because I need to be looking at the clock when I say that, and not to mention:
Soft and smooth blinking.

Sorry, I took so long to explain it, that you might need to read the beginning again to remember what this was about.

Okay, continuing, the most amazing thing I had ever seen on the Internet was:

It was exactly 18000 views on My Mother's Treasure! So I quickly said:
"It is exactly eighteen-thousand views which is three words,which is eighteen-thousand views on that computer screen."

And I succeeded.

This might have been confusing, but this moment was mostly special because I succeeded at saying nineteen words really fast, before it became 18001 views.

Now a lot of people might write in response to this post:
"I wanted recipes because recipes are cool and make me so happy and all so give me recipes instead of reading this kid's writing."
"I wanted to hear about Hanukkah and stuff because I like dreidels and latkes instead of reading this kid's writing."
"Rebecca sounds amazing. Just like a goddess."

But I have one thing to say to every single one of those comments.
(Except for the last one.)

"Hey. Don't say that. My Mom says I'm cool."
"On the Internet you can be anything you want behind that screen.
It's strange so many people choose to be awkward."

Thank you for reading this guest post.

Yabba dabba doo.

(^I learned how to sign off like that from a website that says it makes you look extra cool.)


  1. "Rebecca sounds amazing. Just like a goddess." Well done Rebecca! The apple doesn't fall from the tree.

  2. Rebecca is amazing. Thank you :)

  3. I can't tell you how much I love this post! Rebecca sounds like she is an absolute hoot. And she is an amazing writer (must take after her mom). I think she should be a regular guest columnist. Ps. I completely "get" her OCD tendencies with numbers. :) I have similar issues. :)